WHAT?! I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!

 

Oh, yeah I did...

 

*shrug*  So yeah, school starts soon.  Wanna know where I am every exact moment of the day?  Good, because I'm about to tell you!

 

 

 

Someone should probably let Microsoft know that MySpace has made "MSN Spaces" into a complete wasteland. 

 

I mean, it's funny and all, but it's so mean to, you know.... keep Microsoft in the dark like that. 

Luther Vandross has never done anything that's a "waste of time."  If anything, it's a "waste of love."  That's all.

 

Thanks,

~Tim

You guys know what's cool?

 

90s music.  That's right, I said it, 90s music OWNED.

 

See, hardly anything bad came from it!  It's when Beck got his start which is really cool, then of course you've got Seal, Goo Goo Dolls, Blind Melon, Oasis... the goodness just FLOWED, man!

 

I mean... 90s was just carefree, light, fun.  You could turn on 99.9 FM back then and get all sorts of great stuff... you'd get a little No Doubt (oh come on, you know they were cool... until Gwen went solo.  But see, that was AFTER the 90s), some Blind Melon, and top it off with some Gin Blossoms!

 

Man, even R&B was cool back then!  Even RAP!  See... rap/R&B/hip-hop was still establishing itself, so not only was it half-decent, it was usually pretty funny too.  I mean look at these names:  LL Cool J?  Quad City DJs?  Boyz II Men?  Are you kidding me?  How did these people not get mugged?

 

Anybody with me?

 

...Anyone?

 

...Does anyone even read this thing anymore?

 

........ummmm.... sorry about that

~Tim

Never fear, I am still alive!  Just.. not.. updating.

 

Okay, here's the deal.  As we all well know, I'm a very busy man (all that know better, shut up!), and often simply do not have the time for my Space that I used to.  But, as I said above, do not worry!  In the coming days, you can expect one of the most blazingly funny, disturbingly awesome, sickeningly sensational, gruesomely amazing blog entries this world's ever SEEN, BABY!  It's gonna knock your socks off.

 

Or for those that prefer, it's gonna knock your lack of socks off.  It IS summer, after all.

 

Keep looking here!

 

~T to the IMMY

 

And also, check the video section of my space.  A new one will be loaded in the near future.  The anticipation is killing you, isn't it!

So stop calling me!

 

Oh, er, right... welcome back to my Space!  You will find a wide variety of delicious goodies and maybe even a trinket or two stuffed inside!  Or whatever!

 

So it's been a while, hasn't it?  I'm sorry it took me so long.. actually no, I'm really not sorry.  At this point I get the feeling my audience consists of about five people, all of which forgot that this exists.  So you know what?  There's a sink in the room down the hall, on the second right.  Go soak yourself!

 

Wow.  That was full of wet, mildly entertaining hatred.  Gotta get back on track.

 

So let's start with school, shall we?  If I'm not mistaken we have about 10 weeks left until we get a beautiful North Dakota summer.  [(Translation brought to you by Freetranslation.com;  always free until you pay!) Translation of "beautiful North Dakota summer": "About what the weather's like in the dead of January in Florida."]

 

*sigh*

 

In global news, Bird Flu is rapidly spreading around the world, which sucks!  I, personally, ENJOY not having hollow bones.  I plan on keeping it that way, thank you very much!  (boo!)  Hey, shut up!

 

Gosh you guys are harsh today.  Heck pretty soon you'll be making mildly entertaining remarks of hatred... and that's just awful.

 

Well, it appears we've finally had another confirmed report!  A woman was fined for farting while behind the wheel.  She should know better than to fart while driving!  It's bound to cause accidents.  I mean.. you can fart all you want in the passenger seat, but when you're driving?  Fart on your own time, its not just YOUR safety out the window, it's everyone's around you!  Wow.. the people on the road these days scare me.

 

Gay cowboys don't tickle your fancy?  Well they don't tickle the board of judges for the Oscars either!  That's right, the inspiring drama about two cowboys who defy the odds (which sounds disturbingly like a Disney movie to me) was shot down by some movie called "Crash" about who knows what.  Now call it homophobia, call for a recount, do what you will.. but just remember: the key to any guy's heart is a delicious bass.  Heck, that's the key to anything...

 

Oh, on a side note, let the record show that Quartz owned me today.  And it rocked my socks.

 

Now then, where was I... oh, yeah, delicious bass.  Um... has anyone else noticed that school parties are now being held on Tuesdays?  Ummm.... what the crap?  Last time I checked (which was a few seconds ago) the school week ends on Friday... and last time I also checked, people have flippin' homework to turn in the next day on Tuesdays... Whatever, man... I just wanna sumo wrestle.

 

That's not to say I can't sumo wrestle, you know.. on my own time.. um... *cough*

 

Ah... only 291 days 'til Christmas!

 

~Tim

 

 

 

 

 

 

---

 

 

 

 

Ladies and gentlemen... I am pleased to interrupt the VotW's to give you a very special, dear-to-heart video of mine.

 

"It's a truth that can't be denied when I say that Brokeback Dynamite is sure to be a hit." - USA Today

"Two and a half thumbs up!  Ow!" - Epert and Roper

"I'm gonna do this again!" - Pedestrian

"In stores soon!" - SEARS Winter Catalog

 

Yes, the video you see on my front page is indeed created by me.  You can probably expect more trailers of mine to pop up.  Video of the Week will proceed after a few weeks, too, don't worry.  Until then...

 

Listen to your heart.. that's what I do.

 

~Tim

Now I know what all of you are thinking.  You're thinking to yourselves (and you know it's you because you recognize the voice), "Wow, Tim's a whole week off his estimate.  What a loser, we should have him tarred and feathered!"  Now please, please, before you do, hold your pitchforks for one moment!  Look at it this way... in a galaxy parallel to us, it might still be a week BEFORE the week of Feb. 6-10!  So for all those people... I'm a week early!  It's like time zones.  Seriously.

 

With that quick astronomy lesson out of the way, I humbly welcome you back to the one, the only, Tim's Blog.  I sincerely hope you didn't eat any of the "cookies" from the front hall.

 

Now I know what you're all just ITCHING to hear me talk about:  How to stop that itching!  Well I will hold on discussing that for a little bit, and I'll just jump ahead to talking to you about America's favorite dead-eye, Dick Cheny!  Now unless you're from that previously mentioned galaxy, I'm certain you already know that our good ol' Vice shot his buddy while hunting.  Um... I'm not even gonna touch this one.  I'll just.. yeah.  *Applause*

 

Know what we need around here?  We need a good, friendly bouncy room.  Think of it!  "Mom!  I'm gonna go hang around at the bouncy room!"  A bouncy room people!  Can you picture the insanely insane fun?!  Bouncing.. til you get sick.  Wow... that'd be great.

 

Um......... I'm gonna start all over.

 

Tomorrow.

 

~Tim

Thanks to the innovations and tech-work of our good friends at Microsoft and the DDur Foundation of Really Smart Studies, I am now capable of providing all you faithful readers with a new music (or occasionally funny) video every week.

 

Yes, I call it the Video of the Week.  Original, yes, I know.  Every Sunday you can expect to find a new video at the top of my home page to quench your thirst for entertainment.

 

So until next Sunday.. enjoy!

 

~T

 

PS:  A "real" blog entry is on the way, don't worry.  Expect it in the week of the 6th-10th of February.

 

UPDATE ----- Along with the Video every week, I'll provide a list of all archived videos, in case you ever want to go back and watch.  One good website is music.aol.com for listening.  Enjoy.